What If Our Wounds Were Repaired With GOLD ~ 5 Tips To Help You Start!

japanese mending broken objectsWhen Japanese mend broken objects they don’t discard them, they carefully repair the cracks and broken pieces beautifully with gold. They believe that something that has suffered damage becomes more beautiful as a result.
 
 
 

What if we started treating our painful life experiences as an opportunity to be healed with GOLD?
 
 
Would we look at our wounds differently? Could we actually heal from them?
 
 

I’d like to think that the real value of this Japanese tradition of gold filling is the love-filled tender care in which they treat these wounds delicately, carefully, and with honor as they fill in each crack. Scars can be seen as ugly or beautiful. When we see them as ” ugly” they become a constant reminder of the pain we experienced which keeps us paralyzed and frozen in that traumatic event. If we choose to see them as beautiful, we can then begin to heal these wounds with GOLD just as the Japanese do with their broken objects.  
 

In order to begin to live again beyond a painful life event we can start by looking at the experience differently. As horrific as an experience can be, we can still choose to heal in a way that propels our life forward, that allows us to teach others and support others so that they too may heal. That is the GOLD filling. That is the LOVE.
 
 

In my experience, these 5 Tips can certainly help in the process of filling our wounds with GOLD:
 
 

1) Feel To Heal – It’s important that you surround yourself around people who you trust that will allow you the time to share your feelings about your painful event. Feeling these emotions rather than shutting them down allows you to regain control of yourself as you express your feelings. Whether its talking, writing, or drawing; find an outlet that allows you the freedom for your fullest expression so you may release that energy from within.
 
 

2) Take Constructive Action – According to Psychology Today, “Taking action restores a sense of control and directly counteracts the sense of powerlessness that is the identifying mark of trauma.” Taking action even in the smallest way will support you in regaining your sense of power and feel rewarding as you are contributing and connecting back to yourself and others.
 
 

3) Go Deeper – “In the wake of crisis it is possible to learn and grow at rates 100 times faster than at any other time, because there is a door of opportunity. Growth can go at warp speed in every domain of life”, says Psychology Today. Try to find the deeper meaning in what has happened to you. When you are willing to look for the blessing +lesson ( I call them BLESSONS) you have the opportunity to learn something about yourself, you didn’t realize before that you may actually prefer as it shifts your outlook on life.
 
 

4) SELF ForGIVEness - When we forgive we are essentially giving back to ourselves. Freeing up the space in our heart and mind so that new energy, and a new life force can enter. I strongly recommend Iyanla Vanzant’s book Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything as a powerful book that will support you and go on the journey with you to Forgiveness. The first stop though, is forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself FIRST allows you to authentically express true forgiveness to others. It is a freeing and liberating experience and one of the best ways to begin to love again.
 
 

5) Find Your Tribe – A tribe is a group of people who are in it together with you. Even if they don’t experience the same pain as you, they allow you to space to vet your feelings, and support you in your healing and growth. Our tribe is our most trusted group of support. You can find this tribe in support groups, in friendships, and within your family. There is a tribe for EVERYONE. So get out there and find it.
 
 

What I have come to learn in my experiences of grief, pain, and healing is that as long as I am willing to; feel to heal, take action, find the deeper meaning of the experience, forgive myself and do all of this within my tribe; I am doing just as the Japanese do with their broken pieces. I am filling my cracks up with GOLD , I am more beautiful as a result.

Finding Love In A ‘ Love Scared’ World

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I want more. I want more. I want more….LOVE. In a love scared world where people are bound up in their protective ‘don’t-get-to-close-to-me’ armor, finding love and creating more love becomes the ultimate challenge.

So how do you find more love?

Firstly, start loving more. The Law of Attraction states that what you put out will come back to you ten-fold. When you start expressing love to others you will allow others to give it right back to you. And if they aren’t willing, they will quietly bow out gracefully and exit your life completely.

Secondly, discover what love means to you. In order to find more love, you have to love yourself. This means you need to discover what it feels like to be totally, utterly, head over heels in love with yourself. You do this by describing what that experience of love would feel like so you can recreate it in your life. But most importantly, to love yourself means to be truthful about yourself and accept everything about you, even the things you loath the most about you. When you can stand in your truth, as Iyanla Vanzant shares, then and only then will you know how it feels to love yourself.

Thirdly, strip any ‘don’t-get-to-close-to-me’ armor that you may be wearing to protect yourself from getting hurt or experiencing pain. When you wear that armor you are not finding love, you are blocking love. You wear that armor to protect yourself from pain but also because you don’t love yourself enough to let anyone get close enough to see you. When you no longer hide out and start to accept yourself, then you will begin to strip away the protective gear and will immediately begin to appear more accessible and available to receive love.

Blocking love is the reason there is a scarcity in expressed love. While there is an abundant supply of love, enough to feed all who are starving for love, people are hoarding it and protecting it by reserving their love only to those who have passed all the ‘don’t-hurt-me’ tests. Don’t get me wrong, people have to earn the right to bear witness to your vulnerability; to be privy to your deepest feelings and fears, but when we are love, and learn to be an expression of love, then more love will come back to you. You’ll start to surround yourself with those that have a higher love vibration and the likelihood of those people causing you pain minimizes because they too are matching your love vibe. So hoarding your love is simply feeding your loneliness not your desire for love.

Finally, get out there by putting yourself out there. If you really want to find love, you’ve got to be willing to accept that love and pain are a part of life. The pain of loneliness, isolation, disengagement, and detachment is a life time prison sentence. So if you are blocking love in fear of getting hurt, you’re already there. So the only way to free you from this self-imposed imprisonment is to rattle the bars, break out and break open and be willing to love yourself. Strip your protective armor and get out there so you can finally experience life. If you get hurt, at least now you’ll be surrounded by people who love you and whom you love. That will get you through any temporary heartache and worth everything to finally find love in a love scared world.

The Universe Is Your Server. May It Take Your Order? 4 Steps to becoming a Manifesting Guru!

Waiter-taking-order-006The last time I went out to eat I experienced an “AH HA” as it is a perfect analogy of how to manifest things in my life.

 

The waitress approached me and I requested my meal; add this… delete that; extra ice in my drink please;  dressing on the side, etc. And VIOLA – that’s exactly what I received.

 

What would have happened if I wasn’t clear? If when the waitress approached the table I said nothing or if I was vague in my request? What would she have served me?

 

When you are manifesting things in your life, imagine the Universe is now your waitress/waiter ready to serve up whatever you desire.

 

The Law of Manifesting is clear. State your intention and be clear about what you want, release that thought as law and back it up with action that supports your intention.

 

Many people use vision boards to display their dreams and desires that they want to manifest. And by putting their vision on a board and visiting that board daily, they are increasing the energy and vibration around that desire. And the universe will ALWAYS match your vibration. ALWAYS.

 

Here’s the step many people miss and it is a critical if not the most important element of manifesting your vision. You ready???  YOU HAVE TO START LIVING AS IF IT HAS ALREADY COME TRUE. Yes that is correct.. I said it..  ”LIVING AS IF IT ALREADY IS” You have to breathe action into the intention to bring it to life.


 

EXAMPLE: Let’s say you want to lose 30 lbs in a year:

 

You have your vision board and find the perfect picture of the type of body you want to achieve. You look at the board every day, you hold that desire as your vision. Yet you don’t breathe action into the intention. Nothing else changes for you. What the Universe will serve up, is exactly what your actions showed because you carry a vibration with you. And the vibration you are omitting is not in support of losing 30 lbs. So the Universe only hears THAT of which you breathe into your life.

 

Now let’s take that same example and take it a step further. You look at your board every day, you hold that desire and your vision and you begin to exercise, meditation, ingest healthy foods. Now what do you think will happen? How will the Universe respond to that? EXACTLY! The Universe will respond with an exact vibration match to what you omit! So if you are behaving as if you are 30 lbs lighter – guess what??? You WILL be 30 lbs lighter!

 

So when Manifesting use these steps to make sure your “server”, THE UNIVERSE hears your order perfectly as you want it done.

 

1)      SET CLEAR INTENTIONS – don’t just say something arbitrary like ” I want health” be clear about what SPECIFICALLY you want to achieve.

 

2)      DON”T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE DETAILS – In most cases, you don’t want to overwhelm the Universe (although it can handle anything) with details that bogged down the true intention. Saying you want to lose 30 lbs by incorporating healthy eating, higher spiritual awareness, and exercise is enough. You don’t have to start calling out the measurements, the size bra you’ll be able to wear, etc. You’ll get to that by focusing on a SIMPLE CLEAR INTENTION

 

 

3)     BREATHE LIFE INTO YOUR INTENTIONS – Back every intention up with Action. Make sure you actions support what you are manifesting in your life. By breathing LIFE into your intentions you are clearly communicating to the Universe that this is exactly what you want and so you shall receive.

 

4)     STAY LOOSE TO PRODUCE – You have to stay loose to produce. In other words, don’t stress yourself out about it and certainly refrain from any negative thoughts regarding your intentions. Trust they are true and good. And release them as law. No stinking back-tracking- thinking allowed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Your Self Esteem Out Of Steam? 5 Tips To Improve Your Self Esteem NOW

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Do you struggle with low confidence or self esteem? Why and where does it come from?

Low confidence and self esteem is an unfortunate common side effect from the programming that is in your mind due to past experiences, trauma, lack of praising,or being on the receiving end of others stress that causes you think poorly of yourself.

The good news; you can disrupt the patterns of your past by creating new experiences and improve your self-esteem and confidence as a result of your new choices. Get your Mojo back!! Rather than trying to change past feelings or behaviors by digging into the ” why” you need to start with a focus on  ”how” you are going to start TODAY on building a new level of awareness into the amazing beautiful creature you are RIGHT NOW.

As a life improvement specialist, I work with clients who want to improve their self esteem and confidence by providing them with powerful NOW tools that they can use to access the most powerful tool they have ~ THEMSELVES!

Here are five sure fire ways to re-boot your self esteem and confidence!

1)Decide - that  you WANT your Mojo back. Deciding that you do want to make improvements in your confidence and self esteem is the most important step you will take! I know. I know. Easier said then done right? But it has to first start with a decision. The first step is saying – ” I’m sick of this crap” ” I’m ready for a change.. but more importantly ” I’m WILLING to change!”

2) Clear the Clutter - You have to free your mind and your SPACE of clutter. It’s time to change the programming in your mind by gently affirming a positive thought when a negative nasty thought enters your mind. For example: ” I always suck at this” can be turned around by saying  to yourself ” That’s how I used to think. That thought is no longer serving me. So today, I’m going to do this with an open mind and an intention to be amazing at this”. Because you’ve created the habit of a negative thought process, you have to work diligently to reprogram your mind to have an automatic positive response vs a negative one.

3) Set a Goal - This is the step that can make or break you so CHOOSE wisely! Don’t try to climb a mountain when you haven’t climbed a small hill. Make your first goal SMART ( Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Realistic. Time Frame) . Give yourself a goal you KNOW you can stick to and pass with flying colors. This is a critical step in your Mojo Builder!  One more thing – make this a short goal. Give yourself a goal you can achieve in less than 20 days. Remember, we’re trying to get your Mojo back so it’s critical that you make it SIMPLE and SHORT to begin with!

4) Track your progress- Here’s the deal – don’t go all crazy with a lot of to-do’s with your first goal and tracking. Make it easy. Grab a notebook, do a video diary, whatever but make it easy and NOT feel like homework.

5) Accountability - Okay – this is where you need to hold yourself accountable but also try and find an accountability partner. This is critical because your partner will be your cheerleader and encourage you through this first goal.  A life coach is a great accountability partner that has your highest and best interest in mind. A life coach will hold you accountable and be your biggest cheerleader all the way through!

Now I know I said I was going to give you 5 sure fire ways to get your mojo back.. here’s your BONUS….

6) CELEBRATE!You did it! You just followed through on a simple easy breezy goal to get your mojo back; the first step in rebuilding your self-esteem!!!

5 Savor Boosters To Increase Your Happy!

savoring-happinessHere I was in an afternoon lull and decided to get my fix through the internet. I started with Facebook of course, and then ran into the perfect site call Happify that has tons of scientific based quizzes, games, and surveys to increase our happiness! Through my cruising, I stumbled upon a list of scientific research made simple that discussed the science behind being happy. Yep, that is correct – there are behavioral activities we can do DAILY to increase our happy factor!
There are many scientific factors that influence our happy, but I was intrigued by one in particular which is the art of SAVORING. Fred D Bryant a social psychologist at Loyola University of Chicago is the father of research on “savoring” or the concept which suggests that when we are mindful of our positive experiences past, present, and future and actually savor in those moments, we will live a more positive happy life. His book Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience is fill with amazing tips to increase our happy!

For many people, the natural tendency is to focus on coping rather than its’ positive counterpart which is savoring; noticing and appreciating the positive experiences in our lives. Savoring is more than pleasure – it’s the ability to actually be consciously aware and mindful to the actual EXPERIENCE of that pleasure. Savoring increasing our capacity for love, friendships, emotional intelligence, physically and psychological well being, spirituality, and creativity while decreasing depression. So I think it’s time to develop and flex our savor muscle!

Here are 5 quick ways that you can implement NOW to increase your flavor for savor in your life:
1) Reminisce – Spending time with friends, loved ones reminiscing about good times allows you to go back in time to that experience that pleasure again. Even going through photo albums of different happy experiences alone will allow you to access that pleasure
2) Share Your Good Vibes With Others – Fred Bryant says ” People that savor together stay together” so by sharing with others our experience of feeling happy, excited, glad, etc is the same as sharing a positive event. In fact, even the thought of sharing it with others can boost your happy. So start sharing your Savor!
3) Day Dream – Yes! You heard it – day dreaming about future events is another great way to create pleasurable experiences and add a little flavor to your savor! Start planning that future event, activate your five senses and enjoy!
4)Shout It Out – Yep! Have you ever shouted from the roof top or a mountain and realized the amazing release and immediate smile that comes across your face? It works! Shout, Jump up and down, scream in jubilation when something good happens to you and watch your savory muscle flex!
5) Give Thanks  - Counting your blessings and giving thanks is a great way to work some savor into your life. Letting people know how you feel about them not only increases your pleasure but it also increases the pleasure of the recipients of your gratitude! According to Bryant saying  the word ” Thank You” out loud can make us happier by affirming our positive feelings.